TOP 5 MOVIES FEATURING WATER

As a loyal follower of this site, you know that we love water. What you may not know is that we love movies. Water + Movies = HOLY SHIT I HAVE AN IDEA FOR AN ARTICLE THAT I CAN SOMEHOW SHOEHORN WATER INTO


5.) The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Okay, I'm going to be honest, I've never actually seen this movie. However, I do know people who know good shit, and those people tell me this is good shit.  Little Know Fact: This movie is actually Ghostbusters 3, as Peter Venkman has quit the 'Busters to sail the world under a fake name because he's become disillusioned with life as a celebrity after walking the motherfucking Statue of Liberty through New York. Now he's on the run from bill collecters and Dan Akroyd, who won't stop calling him about being in Ghostbusters 3.



4.) Titanic

Water 1, Leotardo DiCraprio 0. 'Nuff said.




3.) The Perfect Storm

This may be a controversial pick at number 3, because it's not "all that" as they say, but it's worth it for when the water goes completely HAM on those fuckin sailors. 99% of the movie is George Clooney and some other dudes squawking back and forth like turkeys, saying, "Suppose to be a big storm, but we gotta get out there, we're goddamn fishermen" and then the crewmate who's a big chicken says, "We probably shouldn't go" then Clooney says, "We gotta go, we're sailors, it's what we DO", or some baloney like that. Then it gets super cheesy on toasted bread with just the right amount of mayo and wait what the fuck was I talking about again?




2.) Deep Blue Sea







1.) Waterworld

If you choose one superpower what would you choose? Common question, right? You've probably been asked it before. Most of you out there would choose the ability to fly, have super speed, or, if you're a sick perverted fuck, you'd choose invisibility. (Don't tell me you would use invisibility to spy on super secret meetings or any of that bullshit. 99% of you would be hanging out in bedrooms watching beautiful people screw, and if you didn't you'd be doing it wrong.) You know what Kevin Costner would choose? Gills.


-Diquerious Mandelbaumb occasionally watches movies and drinks water practically all the time. You can reach him at diqbaumb@gmail.com